| i feel emo. hahah
i don't know if emos the right word...
but i feel down.
why? i have no clue.
maybe because I'm secluded right now.
or too much to think about...
not that i have anything to stress over.
life is interesting. no?
i always heard the phrase "friends come and go" blah blah blah
but i don't think i fully understood that..
i guess until i moved?
seriously even with my high school friends in cali
we always say..we keep those who we care about close..
and the others we just...let them fade away.
i guess thats reality..
i'm grateful that i met such awesome people here.
i think i'm a very blessed person.
i have nothing to complain about..
but why is it that i always find something to complain about?
what a fool...
i'm feeling more like an adult every single day of my life these days..
writing my own checks for water..
electricity..
the rent...
whoever knew i'd be writing these checks myself?!
and all these responsibilities...
i feel overwhelmed by them...but then again grateful for them
...i think im growing up a lot these days as a person..as sarah.
I remember as a child I always thought those who were like 16 and driving were super old..and then I became 16..so I changed that to 18, cause you know, they get to vote. Guess what? I'm 19 now and I sure as well did vote! When did this all happen? haha I always told my parents to treat me like an adult..and now they actually are. Actually..they're not really treating me like anything...I'm just having to be an adult. lol...it's somewhat fun, somewhat scary, but I guess its all part of life, right? I find my friends and I talking about politics, or something controversial like gay marriage randomly and I'm always taken aback. Since when did I talk about these things for fun?! No one's even forcing us to talk about these topics lol..interesting. I'm rambling..but I'm bored..and home alone..and listening to Mariah Carey and I feel like I should write.
I think its interesting to talk to someone you haven't talked to in ages and just catch up with them. Quite fun and intriguing to see how much or how little each other changed. Did I change? I would like to believe I didn't...but I think I changed quite a lot. Starting from my fashion, to the way I talk, and even to the way I act, everything changed a bit. So I'll start with fashion. :] I really like button ups...and dressing nicely. I was like this in atl too..but never t-shirts. haha unless you see me wearing it as pjs..or just to throw out the trash real quick...you'll never see me wear a regular t-shirt and jeans. Why? I have absolutely..no clue. haha I don't think its..pretty? I don't know..its not even about being pretty or whatnot..but I just can't do it. I also like wearing skinny jeans and when it gets cold, boots. And make-up is included as well...I don't care if I don't wear mascara or anything else..but I think I always wear eyeliner now.. The most shocking of it all is..I don't wear heels anymore. haha...like NEVER. Surprising eh? I used to never go out in shoes that didn't have at least like 2-3 inch heels lol...now...I'm loving my flats! <3 The way I talk? I don't know..maybe its the same..but a lot more people say I talk like a valley girl now. Haha. My cousin said I talked like one long before too..but I'm sure it got somewhat worse. My unnies said its weird though cause it sounds like I'll say something super ditzy...but I end up saying something smart...oxymoron I tell ya~. ;] My character? I think I've become a stronger person. I speak my mind...too much at times. haha I'm pretty good at saying "no" now, and I can't stand ignorance. I love talking to smart people (the conversations seem so rewarding!). I think I got more blunt than before..if that is possible. lol instead of getting joked around with..I like joking around with other people..I got more ambitious..more responsible...and more realistic. Did I say independent? And in a way..more confident. I think the experiences I had of having to move my senior year and try to break the already existing cliques just made me a stronger person. As did going to college no even a year after and Korea for summer school the following summer. I absolutely love meeting new people. I absolutely love trying out new things. And I absolutely love where I am in my life today (not in a cocky way that is). I think this is why I say im blessed. God gave me so many opportunities and I'm oh so grateful for them. God is amazing. Amen? Amen!
So living with four other girls is quite...interesting. Its fun..I've been doing a lot of cooking..and cleaning..something i rarely do at home lol. I'm the so-called "mom" in my apartment. lol Through these experiences I am maturing once again. I wonder what I'll be like when I get married. That leads to the point. I wanna get married. Ha. I need a boyfriend first. Which draws me to another conclusion. Living with 4 other girls that all don't have a boyfriend? Bad idea...shall I say...TOO MUCH ESTROGEN? lol Seriously..we just feed off of each other and we all just end up to the conclusion: we want a boyfriend. Honestly though? I don't really think I really want one. I just want one..for the sake of having one. haha bad huh? I guess thats what not ever having a boyfriend makes you go through. haha. But then again, I'm glad I never had one. I just want someone to like...to occupy my mind? I don't know. Everything sounds..shady haha I don't know. But yeah. I always wanted to get married early? But now..I don't know if I wanna finish my education first or not..if so...I guess I'm getting married pretty darn late! lol
yeah. I just needed to blabber for a bit. I highly doubt anyone read this whole thing. Its actually quite pointless things that I've been wanting to write down for some odd reason. I should be make myself happy by doing something energetic or something..maybe I should've gone shopping with my friends today lol theres always next time~
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| I hate pms-ing. I feel like something else is controlling my feelings and I'm helpless.
I went to the marketplace with one of my housemates today and it was actually really nice cause I got the opportunity to talk with her about a lot of different stuff ranging from bikes to God. I really think this years gonna be rewarding in the end :] I have work in like 7 hours...I should sleep. Good night! |
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| So classes started today. I didn't get into Global >< I was really sad. I'm crashing an ASAM class but there were too many crashers so I don't think I might get it. What a bummer.
I need patience. I hope I don't get annoyed by my roommates too quickly...haha |
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| So todays my first day of classes. My first class is at 12. What time did I wake up? FREAKIN 6:30! oh my. Having a heavy sleeper roommate is hard cause she's the only one in the house that doesn't hear her own alarm. Man oh man..I hope this doesn't happen all the time. We slept at like 3 last night. Thats like 3 hours of sleep! Insane.
So my housemate made us pancakes this morning. Quite cute. :] but I don't think it was fully cooked..it was slightly doughy...and my other roommate and I don't feel oh so good. haha
I feel like its all still a dream... |
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| So I'm in my room right now and one of my friends sleeping over..and she's right here..I'm sure she'll read this haha but yeah. So I got a bike today. Its crappy. And old. And I paid $65 for it. Its rusty and the tires are slightly flat. I should go put some air in it. There's a huge KASA party upstairs and its so freakin loud. My friend Jo said she might come to SB for Halloween! I'm super excited! :] I'm making no sense. Goodnight! <3 |
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